What should I believe?

wHAT sHOULD i BELIEVE

As Christian women, there is a constant struggle between what we believe, reality and what we eventually practice. We may all have head knowledge of how we ought to behave or how we should be different from the standard of the world, but in actuality, how convenient or reliable are these principles in today’s world? The lines seemed to have blurred out and sometimes lies are dressed in the cloaks of righteousness.

Have you ever debated on a topic and after a while, it seems that no one really knows the boundary between the truth and lies? It has become increasingly difficult to clearly label and categorize good and bad. In the same vein, so many lies have been told about how women should behave or what to expect that they are confused as to making qualitative decisions.

 

TERRIBLE LIES WE BELIEVE:

Sex: Some say good sex will change the heart of any man. It is true that sex can manipulate weak men but not all men. Sex for both married and single is not a manipulative tool. It should not be used to manipulate outcomes. It eventually fails when it is used either for placing certain demands or requesting favors. These kinds of approach always backfire and it is usually the woman that is at the receiving end of the blast. Respect what sex is, it strengthens a trusting and loving relationship only when both parties submit to each other in love within the confines of marriage.

 

Physical appearance: We all want to look good and never grow old. A woman can give anything in exchange to retain her beauty and youthfulness, it explains why we vehemently fight any trace of wrinkles or fine lines. But is it really true that we can stay young forever? No. Beauticians and advertisers have taken advantage of this desire in us to formulate products and catchy advertisements that promise that we will live forever. No product can deliver on that promise. It is a lie. We will all go through the process/cycle of life. So expect it and prepare for it.

 

Having it all: We all have to give up something for something. As women, we should come to terms with ourselves. Accept our uniqueness and be proud of it. If you want to have children, know that you may have to exchange your pretty body shape to have one. Do you want to get to the very peak of your career? Then you may not be able to function optimally at the home front.

Do you want to get to the very peak of your career? Then you may not be able to function optimally at the home front. Do you want to be very involved at every stage of your child’s development?Then you may not be able to build a flourishing career. We all are different, whatever your choices are, do not beat yourself up over it, know the sacrifices you need to make in exchange for the lifestyle you desire. Do you want to be married? Do away with self-sufficiency, self-absorption, and self-centeredness.

One of the biggest lies promulgated by the media is that a woman can have it all. This offer sounds tempting and irresistible. Who doesn’t want to have it all? A beautiful body shape, a flourishing career, a wonderful home, well-behaved kids, a well-lawned garden, be best cook, be best daughter, be best daughter-in-law, have best friends, be a wonderful church worker, best volunteer in kids school, just judge over kids’ squabble, best cook – dishing out freshly made food every day.

It sounds cool but it’s not all achievable. Know what you are wired for. Know the sacrifices you are willing to make for the kind of results you want. It may also be great to delegate or enlist the services of others to help you with tasks that you ain’t good at or that your schedule cannot accommodate. Nobody is a superwoman – it only happens in movies.

 

Fashion: It is true that pimples is not a sign of sanctification neither does body odour depict holiness. Looking good is good. It increases your confidence and makes people respond well to you. The problem is that many of us are errant when it comes to fashion. We allow fashion lords to determine what’s in vogue and not in vogue and the duration it should be worn. A lot of women pursue current fashion trends and lose sight of the real deal when it comes to fashion. Truth is; what you are wearing and the price tag on it is not as important as the gait and the confidence with which it is worn. The most important thing is to be smart and appealing and this is not necessarily determined by the amount the

Truth is; what you are wearing and the price tag on it is not as important as the gait and the confidence with which it is worn. The most important thing is to be smart and appealing and this is not necessarily determined by the amount of the cloth. You don’t need to break a bank or go into debts to be fashionable. Look your best with what you can afford.

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Nike Adekunle is the president of SWiM (Sisters, Wives and Mothers} Forum. At SWiM, Nike and her team equips men, women, married and singles with all the information and strategies needed to make relationships and marriage work. In collaboration with members of SWiM, She hosts REALationship Unfeigned (an initiative that promotes healthy relationships) and Roaring Lioness (a prayer focus group). Nike is a relationship coach, marriage counselor, blogger, writer and an author. She currently has four books to her credit. To get her books, visit swimconcepts.org/shop/

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