A wise man once said, “relationships never die a natural death; they are murdered by ego, attitude, and ignorance”. This is so true nothing can be added or subtracted from it. Let’s examine ego today because if your ego gets too big or out of control, then it will do your relationship no good.

Ego certainly plays a huge role in harming many relationships. Whether it’s your relationship with your life partner, with your parents or siblings, with your friends, or with your colleagues, it doesn’t matter, ego can ruin friendships and put a wedge between family members.

Many people are unaware of how ego is passively or actively destroying their relationships. These are some ways of evaluating your relationships to see how ego might be hurting your relationship. Today, let’s look at behaviors that point to the presence of ego in your relationships and consequently improve them.


  1. When you can’t admit to your wrong:

There is something about ego that makes you think that you are beyond reproach, that you are perfect. You might not admit that to others. You might even often say that you’re not perfect, but deep inside, you may be thinking quite the opposite. If this is how you see yourself, you will never realize it when you are wrong, much less admit it. Can you imagine your relationships working out if you’re always right, and it’s always the others’ fault?


  1. When you think you are better than others:

Thinking that you are perfect leads to another problem, it makes you think you are better than everyone else around you. The situation is similar to the previous point. You may never admit that you think you are better than your friends – and everyone else, for that matter – but you are probably thinking that in your head. You think you know more about everything than others.

Even if you don’t consciously verbally express this opinion, your body language and tone when speaking will ultimately reveal the ego at its worst.

You will come across as having lack of respect for others. You will sound condescending. And yes, this will harm your relationships.


  1. You don’t listen:

If you think you are always right and that you are better than other people, then chances are that subconsciously you don’t really listen to what others are saying.

One of the critical indicators for knowing you don’t listen to others is the habit of only listening to form the basis for your argument and not to understand the other person. After all, you already know you’re right and they are wrong.

The truth is that while you continue living in your own world, you’re irritating, isolating, and pushing away the people around you by not listening to what they have to say.


  1. You take what you have for granted:

With a big ego comes the idea of ‘I am the important one.’ This can easily lead to disregarding people who care for you and whom you care for. While you may not intentionally want to harm your relationships, you probably take them for granted.

The idea is that our loved ones would always be there when we need them. And of course, they can always turn to us when they need us. After all, you’re that important to them, right?

Unfortunately, life is very unpredictable, things happen and plans do not always work out. Humble yourself, show people you care for them when it counts, do not be too ignorant to realize that people won’t always be there because of sickness, death, and other unforeseen life’s challenges.           


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Nike Adekunle is the president of SWiM (Sisters, Wives and Mothers} Forum. At SWiM, Nike and her team equips men, women, married and singles with all the information and strategies needed to make relationships and marriage work. In collaboration with members of SWiM, She hosts REALationship Unfeigned (an initiative that promotes healthy relationships) and Roaring Lioness (a prayer focus group). Nike is a relationship coach, marriage counselor, blogger, writer and an author. She currently has four books to her credit. To get her books, visit

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